The One with a Year in Review

What a year 2008 has been. I started this blog as a reminder to me for the end of the year of all the wonderful experiences I knew I would have. And I have be so amazingly fortunate!

This time of the year always and unreservedly gets me down for some reason. And in retrospect, a lot of things have gone wrong. Too many accidents, too many horses lost, too many vet bills. However, I am a firm believer that the good we’ve had consistently outweighs the bad. (If this were not so, we wouldn’t be in the horse world now would we?)

Recently, I feel like I’ve had a solid dose of reality. I’m a dreamer – always have been. I always have the highest of hopes for both my horses and myself. It’s something I have to cling to. But recently, with reality striking ever so fiercly, I’m doubting my riding abilities, my pony’s abilities (which also makes me a BAD BAD BAD mom), and the notion that I’ll ever be able to ride the way I want. I haven’t fallen off, but my confidence has been shaken as if I had. You’d think I’d get more confidence from lessons, but I feel right now that they’re only pointing out how well I DON’T ride. Or how well we don’t do something. Or how I’m daily letting my horse down in one form or another. I want to work harder and ride better, but I’m also full of constraints and excuses. In all, it’s a lot to overcome really. Bluntly put: It’s HARD.

But, as they say, if it WASN’T hard, it wouldn’t be as worthwhile, would it? So – one of the way God helps me make it through the frustration and disappointment, is reminding me of EVERYTHING He has given me. And it’s also MY job to remember all the Good he has given me.

To start:
He’s given me two fantastic boys. Even though I feel our relationships are still growing, I’m loving every minute that they are in my life.
He’s put me at a barn with horsey friends and people with similar goals. He’s also put them above my riding level to keep me humble. In all honestly, I’d rather be here than have an issue with pride. But pride would definitely be the easier route. :-D I have a hard time not always being the best!
He gave me lessons with ThREE big name trainers this year: Jon Holling, Will Faudree and Hokan Thorne. What memories and lessons I will cherish from these guys.
He gave me the opportunity to ride a full sibling to Theodore O’Connor – an experience I will NEVER ever forgot.
He gave me several great shows to attend where we did remarkably well considering!

My list could continue to grow, but these are some of the highlights. I’ve felt VERY fortunate to have the experiences I had.

As this next year grows closer, I’m placing my goals, life and more importantly – my horse, in God’s hands. I’ve found that my future without God’s control is not much of a future. I’m sure He has great things planned for us, and I can’t wait to find them out!

PS - I will blog about the Will Faudree lessons soon!! - We had a blast!