The horse world. It’s crazy really. I simply can’t think of a sport that can go from exhilarating to heart wrenching and back again so quickly! So many amazing aspects; so many gut wrenching disappointments. But perhaps that’s not only the horse world. Perhaps that’s just life?
Again – I’ve been remiss in my blogging. So much has happened – both good and bad. But, our barn has come to be SUCH a team lately. We’ve all had our up’s and down’s, but we’ve also GROWN so much! Obviously not all relationships are faultless, but what I LOVE about us lately is the way we are learning to work through our difficulties and not give up. That’s what makes a place/family great.
So to start - we’ve had some amazing successes lately!:
1. Most recently, Traveler’s Crossing hosted a fantastic ride-a-test dressage clinic with clinician Susan Selvey. I have to say that Tammy and I worked really diligently (and sometimes painstakingly) hard at pulling this off, and I think we made a FANTASTIC team. I managed to pull together all of the administrative aspects, and she fixed up the grounds beautifully. We had perfect weather, and all of us put in great rides. Susan even commented that the place looked and ran like a rated event – I don’t think we could have had a higher compliment!!
2. Since my last blog where Sudi finally learned how to GO, I have taken Sudi to two shows (one a horse trial, and another a CT), and Sudi’s dressage scores have just sky rocketed (Upper 60’s for you dressage folk, or lower 30’s for you eventers). I’m thrilled beyond words (not quite a good thing for a blog!) He is so amazingly consistent now, and he really, really tries SO hard for me. After every test I’m so overwhelmed, I just can’t not hug him.
One of the things I’ve discovered about Sudi is that he really dislikes not understanding a concept. And I think part of that is because he wants to please me so much. He wants to do the right thing, and when he doesn’t get it – he “acts out.” And - now that he is starting to understand the dressage work, he is SUCH a show off. What a pony. :-D
3. Sudi is figuring out how to jump!! Aha! Finally! I doubted this day would ever come honestly. However, as I mentioned above, when my faith was faltering, my friends were right there to help and encourage me. (That’s what they’re for, right?)
It was an inevitable conclusion. I eventually got to the point where I said: I am not a good enough rider to get Sudi through this. And I wasn’t being too hard on myself. -- It was the truth, and it was hard to admit. That is NOT to say, however, that I am not a RESOURCEFUL and DETERMINED rider. Because THAT, I am. Giving up on this wasn’t an option for me.
So, I took Tammy up on her offer to ride Sudi for me and see what they could accomplish. And they were wonderful! She was able to provide Sudi what I was not: encouragement (faith in him) without punishment. And he was forward, and he went over the jumps – as if there was not an option not to. And he was so proud of himself!!
While this was a great development for Sudi – it was also hard not be disappointed in the fact that I couldn’t get him there myself. I am working through it however, and with Tammy’s encouragement (and that of some other fabulous trainers), I am getting there. I am a work in progress, but it’s good – because Sudi and I are getting there together. We both still manage to do things that wreck our trust in each other, but we’re learning how to work through them.
Our last XC schooling together was such a breakthrough for us. Laurens Bissel was our coach up there at Paradise Farms in Aiken, and she connected with me so well – understanding my fears, and working me through them. It was amazing, and I was able to finally give Sudi the confidant ride he needed.
On one of our trips up to Southern Pines, we stopped at a tack shop, and I broke down and bought a much needed black belt – which I use for both riding and life in general. As we got back into the truck to leave, I pulled the belt out of the bag to look at it, and I noticed an inscription on the inside. It’s now my theme with Sudi: “Courage is trusting your horse to get you there.” It was a perfect fit.
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These past few blog-less months have given me quite of bit of time to marinate. And one of the conclusions I’ve come to is a bit like that Miley Cyrus song (trying not to gag here that I’m writing this!): “The Climb.”
It’s great to reach your goals, and achievements are wonderful (especially when there are pretty ribbons involved!). But all those reached goals, trophies and ribbons are empty and meaningless if you don’t remember the road you’ve taken to get there.
I’ve often wondered at the almost sense of “loss” I feel when I’ve reached my goal. Like something has ended. I should be elated that I reached this point for which I’ve been working so hard. But at the same time, I’m also saying “goodbye” to those experiences and memories I’ve cultivated along the way. Those memories – the good and the bad – are what make the moment of achievement. Without them, those achievements would seem lifeless.
It’s a good reminder of why I used to blog, and why I need to do it more. Because I don’t want to ever forget the things that matter and those moments that changed and shaped me as a rider and person.
Until I blog again - Happy riding!
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